Epiphany
by Forbidden.Love.21
Summary: 'There is no stillness like that of death'


"We need help!" Sam yelled as soon as the automatic glass doors opened for them.

Dean looked up from her face for the first time, noticing that they were finally at hospital. "Someone help us!" Sam shouted again, the urgency wasn't hard to miss in his voice. Nurses and doctors rushed from every corner and began to surround them.

"What happened?" someone asked, Dean wasn't sure if it was a Doctor or nurse- female or male. He wasn't even sure if he was the one that had spoken; Hadn't he asked that same question over and over again? So many times that it began to blury with reality.

It all went crazy. One second things were fine; it was a normal hunt. They were just staking out a possible hot spot. He was careless for one moment and then she was being attacked he couldn't do anything. He looked down at her bloodied body in his arms, her face blurry in his mind. He was seeing her there laughing smiling, not the version that was in his arms.

"Sir, you're going to have to let her go." One of the doctors said as he tried to take her out of Deans arms. Instantly his arms held on tighter, "Sir, I'll have to ask you to please let her go."

"Dean?" Sam voice was barely above a whisper but he heard him through the pounding in his head. He didn't want to let her ago, a part of him was so scared that if he did- he'd never get her back. _Let go, you have to let go _he told himself as they took her out of his arms.

He couldn't stop staring as the put her on a gurney, the doctors hovering over her checking her pulse- yelling things at eachother as she choked on her own blood.

"What happened?"

"An animal attacked her."

"An animal?"

"We we're camping out near the old ridge."

"During Winter?"

"We camp all year round."

"Who is she?"

"Our-"

He couldn't take it anymore, he walked away leaving Sam with the pile of questions being thrown at him. He walked through the hospital halls, his boots hiting the tile with a loud thump. He looked at his hands; they were covered in her blood.

He didn't know how it happened- one minute she was fine, the next she was on the ground her stomach teared to shit as it clawed her stomach. When they finally got it off her, he couldn't see her through the blood, her blood.

His stomach turned and he felt the acid in his stomach making its way forward. He hit the bathroom door open harder then he needed. He couldn't make to the toilet, so he used the sink, almost missing. The stink of the bile filled his senses, making him throw up again.

He turned the water on; watching as it washed out the sink. He cupped his hand, putting it under the faucet, scrubbing off the blood as if was stained on his hands.

Even when the water ran clear he could still feel it there going deeper into his skin.

He locked eyes with himself in the mirror. But he didn't see himself; he saw Alex as she laid there, He saw how her shirt was shredded with claw marks. The deep gashes in her stomach spilling out blood. It wouldn't stop. No matter how hard he tried he couln't get it to stop.

Dean shut his eyes, moving back until his back hit against the stall door. It was the only thing holding him up.

His jaw was clenched and his hands in fist beside him. All he could see was red. His eyes open or shut all he could see was her blood pouring out of her, His head hit the door; again and again in a rhythm of three trying dull the image he saw.

He opened his eyes and took a deep breath only to exhale as his lungs were filled with fire. He couldn't stand here and wait- he started to move slowly making it out of the bathroom and down the hall, passing nurses and doctors- Patients in their rooms.

Everything smelled of disinfectant, and death. It covered everything- clinging to every surfaces it touched; torturing him, reminding him how he failed her. She shouldn't be here, She shouldn't have went with them.

He saw Sam standing there, looking through a glass window. Dean ran his hands through his hair, the sound of his boots seemed to echo as he walked towards his brother. He stopped next to him, not saying anything. So they Both watched silently as the doctors worked; one of the nurse saw them standing there, she rushed over and closed the blinds. Anger swelled up in Dean.

_'She's coding!'_

"Dean..." Sam's voice broke.

"Stop Sam." Dean growled, "She'll be fine."

He shouldn't have let her life be touched by the evil him and Sam deal with. He should have made it clear that she wasn't allowed with them. She was to stay protected at all time in the motel room. With every protection symbol written on the walls and bags of salt in trucks loads.

_'We're losing her!'_

Dean felt as if the air was knocked out of him. This can't be it, she's a fighter; she can beat this.

"Dean!" Sam said more urgently, tears running down his cheeks.

_'Stop the compressions! CLEAR!'_

No. No. No. Dean thought over and over again, his hand against the glass of the window. Wishing something, anything would happen to make this better. To make her better. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Silence followed leaving them wondering.

_'She's gone.'_

_'Call it.'_

_'Time of death is 5:43 P.M'_

Dean didn't think, he just reacted. With Sam right behind him he busted through the door. Needing to see that what they heard had been a mistake.

But there she was, laying there to still too pale. Her eyes were closed as if they had never been opened to began with.

The agonizing noise of her flat-lining rang through the room like thunder.

She was going to wake up. She had to wake up. And when she did he would yell at her for scaring him like that. And she would roll her eyes, and say something sarcastic to piss him off. But she didn't wake up, and there was no misteking the stillness that only death can bring.

So he went to her, ignoring the shouts of the doctors, and the words of Sam pleading for the doctors to let them have a movent.

He caressed her forehead, moving the hair that was in her eyes, getting blood on his hand in the process. He took her hand into his, entwinging their fingers. She was too cold- she shouldn't be this cold, he thought. He had this over coming need to get get a blanket and cover her up so she wouldn't be cold anymore.

His eyes burned, knowing this was really it; that he had to say goodbye, he had to let go.

It was all over.

He shut his eyes, as the tears ran down his face. He brought her hand up to his mouth. "Im sorry," he said into her palm before leaving a kiss on it. "I'm so sorry."

_"What are you doing?" Alex turned around finding Dean standing behind her, giving her a curious look as her hair blew in the wind. "I'm listening." Dean raised his eyebrow. "Listening? to what?" He looked around trying to find a noise but he heard nothing. She smiled, turning back around knowing he didn't understand. "The silence." before he could speak, she started talking again, her eyes turned to the sky. "It's so freeing. This silence."_


End file.
